you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
