I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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