You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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