They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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