found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
