Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
