How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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