I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
And then he peed in my hair
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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