She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize