my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Randomize
