I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
vagina is talking i cant
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
