Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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