just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
