Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
