whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
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I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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