It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
