i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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