marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
