You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize