so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
