jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
