Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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