I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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