i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
