youre lurking in front of me
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
