I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize