honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
