i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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