you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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