I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
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