you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
