She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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