So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
