I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
