We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
