I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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