ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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