so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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