Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
What a dumb baby whore.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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