that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
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Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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