Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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