Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
