i was rollin on her like bob the builder
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
