umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
