He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
