Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
