My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize