addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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