she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I didn't notice because vodka
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
