so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
