dude i'm inner monologue high
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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