the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
