just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
