quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
