I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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