i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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