some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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