I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
