We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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