somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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