So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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